Endorsements and reviews
5 Stars Kitty portrayal that’s (un)dead on “I’m a cat lover, not necessarily a vampire lover, and I found this treasure of a tale fun and fast-paced. Anyone who’s owned a feline will love Patch. Any anyone who’s willing to suspend reality for just a second won’t be able to put this action-packed gem down. It’s a page-turner right up to the end. Well done.”
5 Stars Engrossing page-turner “In this vampire (tail) you get a cat’s-eye view of the world from Patch–the unfortunate Calico tomcat who finds himself a newly sired vampire tangled up with slick lawyers, religious nuts, political fanatics and an underground society of vamps fighting for their rights to be undead.
Often hilarious and sometimes thought-provoking, this well told story is a true original–unlike any other vampire novel out there.
This book was just plain fun. You’ll be flipping pages to find out what happens next. Young and old alike will enjoy this read.
Ray Rhamey has created a character in Patch, the Vampire Kitty-Cat, that I’m sure we’ll be reading about for years to come.
The Vampire Kitty-cat Chronicles is a novel that even a dog person will love.”
5 Stars LOVE THE BOOK!!!!!!!! SO FUNNY!!!! “i love this book, not only because of the new, fresh twist to the whole average vampire story, but because it is so funny! i would recommend this book to people of the younger age, but if you are an adult that just wants a light funny read, try the sample. patch gets turned into a vampire by a girl named meg, and the story is about how they deal with the whole process. there are lots of laugh out loud times, and it is a good deal for two dollars. i hope that my review can help you with your decision to buy the book, and if you do, it is worth your while!”
“Not your ordinary vampire novel. This book was given to me by a friend and I held off reading it for quite a while because I am dead-sick of this whole “wouldn’t it be cool to have superpowers or be so special I could attract one who does and then have a creepy romance with the undead?” vampire craze. Turns out, though, that this hilarious romp is not so much about vampirism as it is about (a) cat-think, (b) political satire (c) how power corrupts and (d) interspecies love. Ray Rhamey definitely speaks very good cat language, and he’s got the background to qualify: check out the dedication to all the cats he has known and loved.
“Rhamey knows vampires as well, and has come up with some excellent new twists that I’ll bet the makers of True Blood wish they’d thought of. “DeathSavers,” for instance–a blood flavor of LifeSavers for vampires having a low-blood attack.
“This book is full of wry humor, and yet somehow strangely believable. I would highly recommend it, even–in fact, especially–to people who would otherwise pass it up because they have no interest in the subject.”
From Amazon.com by Mary Jean Selby
“Just when you think that the vampire genre is pretty much exhausted and headed toward cookie-cutter, assembly line style repetition, along comes Ray Rhamey’s “The Vampire Kitty-Cat Chronicles” to shake things up! Patch is a rather undistinguished and ordinary calico tomcat — until he gets turned into a vampire! Now his ‘life’ is complicated by mobs with torches, hostile undead, daylight, and perhaps worst of all — politicians.
“Superbly crafted by Ray Rhamey, who demonstrates and documents himself an inventive and skilled storyteller, “The Vampire Kitty-Cat Chronicles” is enthusiastically recommended for fans of the vampire genre — and anyone who would enjoy a terrifically original and thoroughly entertaining action/adventure fantasy yarn! Incidentally, it’s no accident that Ray Rhamey is also the author of ‘Flogging the Quill: Crafting a Novel that Sells.’”
Midwest Book Review
“The story is told by Patch, an opinionated and independent-minded feline who insists Ray is only his typist, and who pretty well has life by the tail. Until a starving vampire snags him by the tail and initiates him into the ranks of the undead, that is, and Patch discovers that the vampire’s life isn’t all it’s cracked up to be; in fact, death kind of sucks. But then he gets mixed up in politics, and death starts to get downright dangerous… The pace is fast, there’s lots of action, and the humor quotient is pretty high, too; I laughed out loud in several spots, and spent nearly the whole time with a grin and a chuckle never far away. It’s lighthearted, but doesn’t pull too many punches (the satire bites satisfyingly deep sometimes). All in all, a quick, fresh, and most importantly, fun read.”
“What a pleasure! Quirky and laugh-out-loud fun. Ray Rhamey takes the vampire novel where it’s never been before, into the realm of sheer hilarity.”
Tess Gerritsen, NYT bestselling author of ICE COLD
“The Vampire Kitty-cat Chronicles by Ray Rhamey is a fun, quirky and entertaining read that gives you a “behind-the-paws” story from a cat’s perspective.
“Because Rhamey lays out the story from the cat’s perspective, it gives you an objective insight into how we humans behave toward those that we consider different. There were quite a few parallels to be drawn from the vampire’s fight for equal rights and justice to the fight against discrimination that occurs in today’s world.
“In addition to being an incredibly fun story to read, I found The Vampire Kitty-cat Chronicles to be very cleverly written as well. You have to give props to Rhamey for providing such an original and unique entry in the vampire book genre. As I was reading the book I envisioned a whole series of books that document the adventures of Patch and Meg–doesn’t that have a good ring to it?
“I recommend this book to all fantasy readers, in particular, ones looking for a refreshing take on the vampire craze. And as for you cat lovers out there – haven’t you always wanted to know what your kitty really thinks?”
“I read a lot of vampire books. While I find most of them enjoyable, very few genuinely amaze me and give me something completely unique. But The Vampire Kitty-cat Chronicles by Ray Rhamey is one of those rare books that left me pleasantly surprised.
When I picked this book up I expected a cute children’s book, but instead got a perfectly executed adult novel that had many incredibly cute moments, mixed in with lots of bloody ones. Ray Rhamey’s quick wit and clever sense of humor is just what the vampire world of fiction needs. There were many times when this book made me laugh out loud, and let me tell you, very few books can manage that. Rhamey mastered what so many authors attempt but fail miserably at, so he gets 100 awesome points for that.
The story follows a crafty calico cat named Patch and his new life as a vampire after a starving vamp makes him breakfast. The fast-paced story is narrated by the proud cat as he chronicles his journey as a creature prince of the night. But life as a vampire kitty isn’t easy – painful bloodlust, mobs and their fiery torches, murder trials, “Lestat,” shotguns, burning sunlight and more than one kidnapping. Oh no, not easy at all. And to make matters worse, he is then tossed into the role of politician. At least he gets some hot pussy…cat.
If I were you I’d definitely pick up The Vampire Kitty-cat Chronicles.”
Moonlight, Vampires.com
“Though I’m not a vampire fan myself – I just don’t get the appeal of the undead – anyone who does, from about age ten upwards, might like to take a look. Especially if you are a cat enthusiast, because Ray is a man who understands the feline mind. (On the other hand, if you like dogs, there’s the killing of a yappy poodle which I found disturbing.)
“It’s not just the distinctive voice of the narrator, Patch, that should earn Ray readers. It’s also a sharp satire on contemporary American politics and religion, a pacy adventure story with a colourful baddie, and for vampire lovers, an amusing take on an old theme.”
“The Vampire Kitty-cat Chronicles is fun, action-packed and a bit irreverent, a story with a lovable hero and a lot of heart.”
Megan Chance, author of Prima Donna
“Funny, original and very adult, The Vampire Kitty-Cat Chronicles is like no other vampire novel you’ll ever encounter. Narrated in the snappy tones of cat-about-town Patch, the undead feline, it’s sometimes gory, sometimes gruesome, sometimes gross, sometimes laugh-out-loud-funny, and often all four together.”
Sophie Masson, author of Snow, Fire, Sword
Reader review: It sounds like a silly premise: cat turned into vampire – and it is. But it’s silly in a good way. Patch narrowly escapes from one close call after another, all the while sharing snarky comments on the inherent inferiority of dogs, what makes a good cat associate (owner), and what it means to be a vampire (generally he’s not thrilled about the idea).
“But just when you think that the story is all fluff (of the calico variety, of course), it throws in an occasional observation about civil rights, gay rights, animal rights, religious fanatics, sleazy lawyers, media manipulation, and small-minded tyrants. In other words, if you want a bit of depth to your humor, you can find it here, but if you don’t, you can enjoy those one-liners.”
J.G.
Reader review: The Vampire Kitty-cat Chronicles provided me with some much needed humor. Told from Patch’s perspective, the story starts with the incident that changes him from a normal kitty-cat to vampire kitty-cat. From there we see his narrow escape from being sunburned to death, his torment of a vampire dog that is afraid of cats and his unintentional place in the political spotlight. As I read Patch’s story I laughed out loud many times and stopped to read some of the cat’s witty opinions to my husband.
I enjoyed Ray’s characterization of Patch – an independent cat that calls ‘em like he sees ‘em. Some of the human vampires were annoying, but I suppose they would be to a cat. This is not a nail-bitter of a story, but truly entertaining and fun to read, even with blood thirst and mob scenes. You don’t have to be a cat-lover or dog-hater to appreciate this story.
So if you are looking for something quick and funny to read, check it out.
Anne Velosa
